


Burn for You

by Cobrafantasies



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:49:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28773375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cobrafantasies/pseuds/Cobrafantasies
Summary: Joey and Chandler had one incredible night together and Chandler can't get over it.
Relationships: Chandler Bing/Joey Tribbiani
Comments: 8
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place around season 2. Events from the show will not line up.

All I remember is fire... it felt like fire. A burning heat all over my body. It was unbearably hot, the most passion I've ever felt with anyone. It was the best sex of my life and it was with my best friend. _I had sex with my best friend,_ it doesn't sound real. I don't know how we let it happen and I don't know why it won't happen again. I can't say anything - we never spoke about it. I could never bring it up because he never brought it up and now it's been four months. Oh god, has it really been four months and I'm still thinking about it, every single moment of it.

Now, we're both in relationships. Yes, even Joey surprisingly. He's been dating a girl named Mia and I've been dating Janice again. I don't want to hear it - Janice some good... qualities. The point is, I've been able to keep something going for four months and that's progress for me. More importantly, it's kept my mind more off the fact that I had the hottest sex of my life with Joey, but I'm not about to admit that's more likely the reason I'm still with Janice.

I wake up one Saturday before Janice and sneak out of my room, surprised to see Joey in the kitchen.

"Hey... why are you up so early?" I speak in a soft volume.

"Mia left early for a brunch," he informs me.

I nod my head and take a seat on one of the bar stools.

"You two getting breakfast?" Joey asks me, referring to Janice and I.

"I hope not," I answer without thinking.

Joey gives me a look.

"Just break up with her already."

He still doesn't like Janice... I can't blame him.

"You break up with Mia," I fight instinctually.

Joey's face suddenly drops.

"You don't like Mia?"

My stomach sinks.

"I didn't mean that, I was just arguing..." I admit sheepishly.

He frowns and I feel awful.

"Really, Mia seems great," I tell him sincerely.

He accepts this now and shakes his head.

"And Janice seems... still awful," he can't manage to pay her a single compliment.

I can't help, but smile. I wipe my smirk away quickly.

"You really see a future with her?" he questions me again.

I look into his eyes. I'd like to see a future where we hook up again. I'm dying to know it if could possibly be as amazing as the first time - our only time. I almost fall into a heated fantasy, but I break away from my looming thoughts.

"Hey, I made it four months, that's pretty good huh?" I shrug and get up to look for something to snack on in the fridge.

Joey turns and leans against the counter as I open the fridge door.

"I don't know if I see a future with Mia," Joey unexpectedly confesses.

I slowly stand back up and close the fridge door. I turn to him.

"Why's that?"

He shrugs.

"I don't know, she's really great, but...don't you think I should know by now?" he asks.

"I'm not really the person to ask," I respond regretfully.

Neither of us has made it much further than this in a relationship before.

He nods with a sad smile.

I attempt to be more helpful.

"Well, are you thinking about her right now?" I try.

"How can I not? We've been talking about her this whole time," he replies, shaking his head like its a no brainer.

I roll my eyes.

"No - I mean, do you think about her every time she's gone? I feel like people madly in love miss each other all the time... right?"

"Maybe," he shrugs.

"I don't know, I'm trying to help," I frown.

"Thanks," he smiles.

He walks back to his room and I watch him.

I think about him... I think about him all the time, but I'm not... no... I can't be. He's my best friend, this is crazy. Look, it's not love. It's just we had this one night together where we had this undeniable, raw attraction and insane chemistry and unreal passion and I can't get my mind off it. Anyone would get caught up on that.

* * *

I'm returning to the apartment after work one day when I find Joey and Janice in the kitchen. It's clear, Joey got stuck in a conversation with her and can't figure out how to leave. I smirk as I close the door. Janice breaks from her long monologue the second she sees me.

"There's my Bing A Ling!" Janice exclaims, rushing over to wrap her arms around me. She kisses me and then keeps me in the embrace.

"Hi," I smile as Joey flashes me a disgusted look.

"So, I was telling Joey, we need to go on a double date already!" Janice fills me in.

"Oh yeah?" I respond and since Janice's back is still towards Joey, he begins shaking his head no to me.

Janice turns back to Joey and he swiftly stops.

"Mia is a doll, I need more Mia and Joey time!" Janice sings as she pinches Joey's cheek.

He painfully forces a smile out, but I can tell how much he hates it.

"Does Thursday work for everyone?" Janice continues, finally letting Joey free.

"Uh, you know, we're busy Thursday," Joey answers and I can tell he's about to reject every day she offers.

"Friday?" Janice suggests.

I give Joey a pleading look, knowing this will never end if he doesn't agree to something.

He catches my face and sighs.

"Friday works," he grumbles.

"Yay! How exciting is this?" Janice jumps, grabbing my hand and shaking it.

" _So_ exciting," I display a wide smile.

* * *

On Friday night, the four of us go out to dinner.

The conversation is mainly between Mia and Janice. Joey and I stay pretty quiet most of the night. At some point, I excuse myself to the bathroom.

As I'm leaving the bathroom, I jump out of my skin when Joey is standing directly in front of the bathroom door.

" _Jesus_ , what are you doing?" I yelp.

He looks at me, he's quiet, his face is serious. It instantly changes my whole attitude.

"I can't do this," he states.

My heart starts racing. What is he referencing? It can't be what I think.

"Do wh-what?" I breathe, barely audible.

"Mia told me she loves me," he reveals under his breath.

"Oh... wow," is all I can say.

"I have to break up with her right?"

"Well, if you don't love her back..." I answer hesitantly.

He nods.

We seem to be in agreement - he's doesn't love her.

"Will you do me favor?" he poses after a moment of silence.

"Sure, what?"

"Break up with your girlfriend too."

I glare at him.

"Cut it out."

I step aside to walk back to the table, but he steps in front of me... leaving very little space in between us, making it difficult to catch my breath.

"What are you waiting for?" he urges.

I freeze. _How about for you to bring up that night._

"It's my life okay. You aren't breaking up with Mia only cause you thought I'd dump Janice, are you?"

"No," he shakes his head and stares down at the ground. He's still so close to me. Does he realize? Is it just me?

"I don't want to waste her time, you know?" he adds softly.

I nod.

"I think that's best," I concur.

He looks up and locks eyes with me and my insane mind imagines something happening.

We haven't broken eye contact and I keep thinking something might... but then he turns to head back to the table.

* * *

That night, Janice and I are in my bed reading.

It becomes clear that Joey isn't breaking up with Mia tonight when we soon hear loud moaning on the other side of the wall.

We both look up from the books in our hands.

"Oh my god, are they loud," Janice chuckles as she snuggles into my chest.

I huff out a laugh. I have to laugh because the truth is, it's turning me on. It has been for the last four months. Every time I hear them having sex in the next room, I can't help, but picture all the things Joey is doing to evoke those sounds from her. Every way he's making her feel so good and I think back to that night... our night.

I take Janice's face in my hands to lift her mouth to mine.

Before long, I'm getting the relief I need even if it is with Janice.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Janice comes down to the coffee shop with me to hang out with my friends. No one is super happy about this, but of course they do their best to hide their annoyance with her. They're as nice as they can be.

Janice is in the middle of some long story, I honestly stopped paying attention about twenty minutes ago, when Joey and Mia walk in. The second they do, all my friends' faces light up.

"Mia hi! How are you?" Rachel happily interrupts Janice.

"Hi! I'm good, how are you!" Mia matches her bubbly tone.

"What are you two up to?" Phoebe joins in gleefully.

"Oh, we were actually going to ask Chandler and Janice if they wanted to catch a movie with us?" Mia explains.

"That's a great idea!" Ross encourages.

"Yes, you two should really go, have fun," Rachel presses immediately.

Janice laughs and looks at me.

"Chandler? Should we go?" she chuckles, not understand why my friends are so adamant about us leaving.

"What is even the question. Movie, snacks, friends? There is no question - go, _go!_ " Rachel jumps up and grabs my hand and Janice's and quite literally pulls us towards Joey and Mia. Janice is still laughing, thinking this is hilarious. So, we go.

On the way to the movies, Joey and I are lingering behind the girls.

"So, Mia guilt you into this?" I speak quietly to him.

"Yeah, she thought we should repay you guys for the dinner," Joey explains.

When we get inside the theater, I end up sitting next to Joey with Janice on the other side to me. I wouldn't normally pay attention to such an insignificant detail, but it becomes painfully obvious to me when Joey goes to grab his drink from the cup holder. I have my hand on the arm rest. When he goes to return his cup, his arm bumps into mine. He squeezes my wrist and whispers "sorry".

Why did he have to touch me? I stare down at my wrist, it feels like the imprint of his touch is burning into my skin. That one touch, that tiny squeeze is affecting me so much. I can't keep dwelling on it or it will freak me out. I look to my right at Janice. She senses my stare and meets my eyes. She smiles at me and then intertwines her fingers with mine over the other arm rest. We both turn back to the screen. Don't think about it, _don't think about it._

* * *

Later that night, I'm in bed with Janice again when she starts looking at me with a timid expression.

"What?" I smile nervously.

"I've been thinking Chandlerrr... it appears I'm staying over nearly every night," she begins.

I start sweating instantly. She's going to drop the moving in together bomb.

"And I keep a spare change of clothes in your drawer and a toothbrush in your bathroom. Don't you think it's time we..." she continues, but we get interrupted by the sound of a prolonged moan. We both look up at the wall.

"What I was saying was, have you thought about -" Janice starts again, but another moan rattles through the wall.

Janice sighs, frustrated, but I'm already getting aroused knowing Joey is having sex and this conversation is terrifying me so I do the only thing I can think of that will solve both issues. I lean in and kiss her before she can get another word in.

"Chandler," she giggles over my lips.

I keep kissing her more and more.

"Chandler, Chandler wait, I... wanted...to," she tries to continue, but I'm not letting her.

I pull her closer to me and slip my hands under her shirt.

"Chandler - _hey_ \- I was trying to have a serious conversation," she demands, pulling away forcefully.

I freeze.

"Oh well... you looked so beautiful, I couldn't help myself," I lie.

She smiles.

"Well thank you, but can I finish my sentence or can you not wait two seconds," she laughs again as another moan sounds through the air.

I look up at the wall and let a heavy breath fall out.

"Oh...my... _god_ ," Janice slowly bellows.

I look back at her in a panic.

"What?"

"Are you... are you turned on from _that_?" she points to the wall, figuring it out.

Right on cue, Mia starts moaning Joey's name now.

"What? _No_ \- of course not!" I squawk.

"You were all over me and come to think about it... every time..." she continues piecing everything together.

I might black out. This can't be happening.

I shake my head so fast I nearly lose my vision.

"You're crazy!" I scream at her.

"Chandler!" she yells back, offended.

"I'm sorry - but of course it has nothing to do with them. That's disgusting!" I utter dramatically, praying she believes any of this.

She frowns at me and my heart may burst, it's beating so fast.

"How could you really think that?" I press again.

She shakes her head.

"I was merely speculating," she replies astounded at my behavior.

"How could you speculate something like that. You think I'm that sick?" I spit and she looks horrified at my words.

"I didn't say that Chandler!" she defends.

"Well, you speculated it!"

She gets up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" I fret, following her as she starts throwing on some more clothes.

"Home," she states.

"Why? Wait," I plead.

"Chandler, I don't want to be around you right now. I'll talk to you tomorrow," she determines and walks out.

I follow her to the door, but we both don't speak another word.

I watch the front door close and then let my body sink against it.

Joey's bedroom door opens and I see him carefully peer out.

"Hey, what's going on - you okay?" he asks from across the apartment.

"Everything is fine."

"What was all that yelling, did Janice leave?"

"It's fine Joe, just get back to your... whatever," I wave.

He looks worried, but eventually slips back into his room and closes the door again.

In a couple of minutes, I can hear Mia again. For once, I'm not turned on... I'm anything but turned on.

* * *

The next morning, I'm sitting at the island barely touching a bowl of cereal in front of me.

I hear the door behind me opening. Joey and Mia walk by me.

"Hey," Joey greets me.

"Hi Chandler," Mia says sweetly.

"Hey," I greet him, trying to sound pleasant.

"Uh, I'll see you later okay," Joey says to Mia and gives her a small peck on the lips. She smiles as he opens the door for her and she leaves.

I know he's going to ask me about last night, but I can't tell him the truth, I can't tell Janice the truth - I can't even tell myself the truth.

"So, you didn't get to the break up huh?" I jump in before he can.

He flashes me a guilty look.

"I wanted to..." he replies.

"But then the sex got in the way?"

He glares at my joke.

"Every time I try to bring it up, she'll kiss me and then I think if I don't break up with her right now, I can have sex right now and that always sounds way more fun," he whines.

I shake my head.

"Right, but she's in love with you," I remind him.

He drops his head.

"I know, I feel awful. But I haven't broken up with a girlfriend since high school. Usually, I just stop calling. This is the worst part," he sighs.

"Look, it's gonna suck, but you just gotta do it," I tell him.

He nods.

"You're right. Okay, tomorrow for sure," he decides.

I nod and then he tells me he has an audition and heads out.

He actually forgot to question me about last night.

I'm so happy, I suddenly have an appetite again and finish my cereal.


	3. Chapter 3

I avoid Janice's calls for the next few days until finally she corners me at the coffee shop. She shows up unannounced and I'm hating myself for forgetting she could easily find me when I spend half my time at the same place.

"Janice?" I jump up from my chair nervously.

My friends all look at Janice. I haven't told any of them what happened and Joey still never remembered to ask.

"Oh, so _now_ you're talking to me," Janice fights instantly.

I panic and sprint over to her.

"Can we talk outside?" I request as I nearly push her out of the coffee shop.

The second we get outside, she crosses her arms and gives me a cold stare.

"Look, I'm sorry I've been avoiding your calls," I apologize.

"Mhumm," she hums angrily.

"I was embarrassed okay, at how I treated you and... what you thought," I go on.

She remains unusually quiet.

"Please just give me another chance, I need you," I plead.

Her face slowly lightens. She lets out a long breath and unfolds her arms.

"Okay, but no more mean yelling," she orders.

"Never," I comply.

"And we move in together," she adds a second demand, leaving me at a loss for words.

"Oh...um..." I stutter.

"Chandler, we move in together or we break up. You either want to be with me or you don't," she gives me an ultimatum.

I'm panicking. I've never moved in with a girlfriend before, I don't commit. I'm Chandler - I'm anti-commitment! But she's my only distraction, I need her or who knows where my thoughts about Joey will go.

"I'll make you a key," I fold.

Her face lights up.

"Oh my god! This is so exciting!" she exclaims, pulling me into a hug.

She forces me to go tell all my friends with her and everyone congratulates us.

* * *

Janice has officially moved in and Joey is the least thrilled about it.

Luckily, our bedroom situation is fixed now because Mia hasn't been back to the apartment since my fight with Janice. So, all I have to do now is... live with Janice. I definitely did _not_ cringe when I thought that.

One night, Janice is getting dinner with a friend and I am marveling in my night alone. I'm sitting on the couch eating ice cream out of the tub, when the front door swings open and then slams shut. Joey is holding the door closed. I fly off the couch and rush over.

"What's going on?!" I fret but his hand covers my mouth and he immediately shoves me with his other hand against the wall by the fridge.

He removes his hand from my mouth and puts a finger to his lips.

_"Shhhh."_

My heart races a million miles a minute. I don't know whether to be terrified for my life or savor this moment of Joey being wonderfully aggressive with me.

Next, we hear knocking and a woman's voice calling Joey's name.

"Joey? Joey are you in there? Was that you?"

I recognize the voice, it's Mia.

Soon, the sounds drown out because Joey still has a tight grip on my arm, holding me against the wall. His body is nearly pressed against mine, he's so close to me. I become overwhelmed by his presence over me. We're standing in this position, not moving or making a sound. Joey's watching the door, hoping Mia will leave and I can't think. I'm fixated on his face - his lips, his eyes, his hair. Staring at it all hanging over me almost like it was that night. Him on top of me, his naked body against mine, his mouth on my skin, his-

"Okay, I think she's gone," Joey says, bringing me back to reality.

He lets me go as he walks to the door to check the peephole.

I let out a slow breath. I haven't moved.

I'm starting to regain logical sense when he turns back to me.

"I know you're going to be mad," he assumes.

I don't respond.

"Look, I know it's bad. I was going to break up with her - I was, but then I put it off for a day and then I put it off too many days and I thought maybe she forgot... but I don't think she did," he displays a smile remorsefully.

I keep staring at him without responding and this makes him uncomfortable.

"You're right I have to tell her, I'm going to tell her," he claims in attempt to break my agonizing stare.

I shake my head.

"You don't like talking about things do you?" I remark.

"Well, not the stuff that's hard to say."

"But you're hurting people Joey!" I lash out unexpectedly.

He steps back, surprised at my outburst.

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me? I'm not the one wondering what went wrong or what happened or why it's not happening anymore. Some of us don't even know why it happened in the first place!" I shout.

I don't even realize what I'm saying until it's too late.

Joey stares at me speechless and I'm a little out of breath from my yelling.

We stand in silence for a long moment.

"Are you still talking about Mia?" Joey finally asks.

"No!" I snap.

What is wrong with me? Where is my self control?

It's too late now, I admitted it. It's out there - we're actually going to talk about this. Oh god, this is happening.

"I..." I'm at a loss for words.

Where do I even start?

The door swings open again and we both jump back and scream.

Janice screams right back and we both let a breath of relief out when we see who it is.

"Oh my god, what is happening?" Janice questions us.

"Sorry, we thought you were someone else," Joey explains.

"Oh, well, it's just me. Good ol' Janice!" she sings happily. "But you'll never guess who I ran into? Mia!" she adds and extends her arm towards the door as Mia walks in.

Mia shoots Joey a deadly stare.

* * *

Janice and I hide in the bedroom as we overhear Mia and Joey's loud conversation. It's mainly Mia yelling and Joey apologizing and saying dumb things that make everything even worse. He really is awful as break ups, but I know I'm not one to talk.

"Hey remember when you broke up with me three times before this?" Janice purrs, leaning against me.

"Heh yep," I respond.

"And look at us now, living together! How great is this?" she beams, sliding her hand into mine.

I nod my head.

"You okay? Your heart is beating so fast?" she observes, picking her head up off my chest.

"I'm excited for us," I lie.

She smiles and kisses me before laying her head back down on my chest.


	4. Chapter 4

The next few days, I'm cautious around Joey. I think the Mia break up got his mind off me finally almost addressing the night and he hasn't brought it up again. Part of me wishes he hadn't forgotten. It's still kind of killing me. Maybe we should finally talk about it and then maybe I can move past it.

I'm sitting in the coffee shop with my friends when Janice decides to play a fun game to _ruin my life._

"Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has slept with who of the six of you?" Janice plays to the group.

I completely freeze, my heart starts racing. _Me_ , it's me and Joey and no one knows and I couldn't be panicking more.

"Wow, it's like a dirty math problem," Phoebe responds.

I avoid eye contact with Joey and try not to look normal.

"Uh, sorry the answer there would be...none of us," Ross answers and I let myself breathe again.

What was I thinking, that Joey was about to admit it to the whole group? He can't even admit it to me. I begin to relax again.

"Come on! Over the years none of you ever got, y'know, drunk and stupid?" Janice probes.

And the panic is back. _What is wrong with this woman?_

Everyone stays quiet.

"I'm sorry, I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies," Janice continues.

The group exchanges looks again. I'm not opening my mouth and neither is Joey.

Thankfully, when no one has an answer, we seem to drift from this horrifying topic.

I finally steal a glance at Joey. If he is internally freaking out like I am, he's damn good at hiding it.

After a while, we are ready to pay for our coffees and head out.

Joey nudges Ross and asks if he could spot him. He always asks me when he needs money, why isn't he asking me?

"Sure man, you low on cash?" Ross inquires.

"Yeah, I've been in between jobs lately," Joey responds.

"Chandler, weren't you saying you're in between assistants at your job?" Janice brings up using her big brain again.

"Oh... uh," I stammer for some excuse not to offer Joey this job.

"Hey, that's a good idea, you could work for Chandler for a while," Ross supports.

Joey stays quiet.

"Uhm, well... I mean he doesn't have experience," I think up.

"I was your assistant," Phoebe reminds everyone and now I really panic.

I can't have Joey in my office, five days a week. It's the only time I don't have to worry about being near him.

Everyone stares me down.

"Right, yeah I forgot," I finally respond to Phoebe.

"Chandler, why won't you help your friend out?" Janice pressures me.

"Of course, I will. Joe, you got the job!" I fold.

* * *

On Monday, it's Joey's first day.

Joey is in my office and I'm showing him the phone and how to answer calls.

"So, got all that?"

"Yep," he confirms. "Hey, listen I was thinking I should go by Joseph while I'm here."

"Alright... why?"

"Sounds more professional, don't you think? I want to really play the part of _assistant_ ," he elaborates.

"You know Joe," I start, but he flashes me a look.

"Joseph," I correct and he nods with a smile.

"Uh, this isn't some acting part. You're really supposed to be my assistant," I tell him.

"No, I know. I just thought it'd be a good exercise anyway," he affirms.

I nod.

"Okay _Joseph_ , glad to have you aboard," I jest

He smiles happily and then silence falls over us.

I look at him, he stares back.

I leap up from my chair to break the silence.

"Okay, great," I pronounce loudly.

He springs up from his chair too.

"So, you'll be out here and let me know if you need anything," I state, walking over to the door.

I point to the desk outside my office as Joey meets me at the doorframe.

"Great, uh... when's lunch?" he asks.

I snicker at his only question.

"Whenever you're hungry, just let me know you're taking your break."

"You got it boss," he quips and then heads to his desk.

* * *

Joey buzzes me that's he leaving for lunch around noon.

When it's past two, I'm wondering where the hell he is. I start to worry something happened to him. Maybe he got lost and mugged and he's hurt!

I debate calling my friends, the police... _someone_ , but then around 2:30, I hear him walk back in.

I rush to the door and he's in one piece, he looks completely fine!

"Uh hello! Where have you been?" I huff, overly relieved and angry at the same time.

"Lunch," he replies innocently.

"For over two hours!" I flail my arms.

"Oh, was there a time limit?"

"Yes!" I shout a little too loudly and some other employees stop in their tracks and stare at us.

"Heh... sorry, just excited for those weekly numbers," I fake and wait for them to continue on their way.

I motion Joey into my office and shut the door behind us.

"Look, I was worried sick. You're on the clock you know, you don't get to take five hour lunches!" I let out.

"It was only two!" Joey defends.

I widen my eyes at him.

"Okay, sorry I didn't know," he quickly apologizes.

I shake my head and let out a tired breath.

"It won't happen again, I swear," he assures me.

I run my hand down my face.

"Do I still have a job?" he asks.

"Yes," I state because I know my friends won't accept me firing him over this.

I don't know how I'm going to survive working with him.

* * *

Janice is staying with her sister tonight. Which means, I'm alone with Joey. It's bad enough I have to see him everyday at the office. I know this shouldn't be a big deal, but everything feels like it's been building more and more lately. My anxiety, my fantasies about him, my dread for Janice. It's becoming too much, I don't know what to do except finally talk to Joey, but the idea alone makes me want to pass out.

So, tonight I decide to take out a beer, a couple of beers actually, to try to get the edge off.

Joey walks in when I'm on my fourth beer. He stops at the counter and looks at the beer cans. He appears worried.

"Hey... you're drinking?" he asks carefully.

My eyebrows bunch together.

"Yeah - that a problem?"

"No, it's just you hav... never mind," he nervously rejects and continues towards his room.

"What is going on with you?" I stop him.

"Nothing," he denies.

"No tell me. Why can't I drink a couple beers?" I chuckle, finding this honestly strange.

"You can," he defends.

"Why are you acting weird?"

He sighs, looking hesitant.

"You just haven't drank since..." he starts, but looks too scared to say it.

Then, it hits me. That night? Ironically, as much as I think about that night, I truly blocked out how it started. I wasn't kidding when I say I don't know how it happened. Maybe I was drinking? That would make sense.

Now, I need him to say it. This could be it, this could lead to us talking about it.

"Since when?" I pry, trying to sound oblivious.

"You know, five months ago," he finally states.

Now, we're getting somewhere. Shockingly, in this moment I'm more determined than terrified for us to finally start talking about this. Maybe it's the beer, whatever it is, I continue on fearlessly.

"I've had a drink in the past five months," I pretend to profess.

"No you haven't."

"How would you know?" I debate.

"I'd know," he claims.

"Why?"

"Cause."

" _Why?_ " I push again.

I'm not giving up now.

"Come on... you know," he speaks so low, I barely hear him.

"Know...what?" I still play dumb.

"The last time you drank," he says, almost annoyed now.

"Clearly, I don't remember. When was the last time?" I press.

He stares me down and I can see his chest start to rise and fall more evidently.

I feel my heartbeat picking up speed as well. We're finally going to talk. I've waited too long for this.

" _That_ night," he breaks.

My breathing matches his now and we're both breathing so heavily, I feel like I can hear our breathing echo against the apartment walls.

"Why was I drinking?" I ask.

I truly don't remember and I want to.

"Mr. Heckles passed," he reminds me.

It begins coming back to me. That's right, I was having a life crisis when I realized how similar I was to our old neighbor, Mr. Heckles. His yearbook showed he was the class clown, he was a lot like me and then he died alone.

"But how did it happen?" I ask when I still can't remember who made the first move.

How did we go from me freaking out that I'd die alone to me orgasming on Joey's bed.

"Do we really have to talk about this?" he asks.

I walk towards him.

"Can we... please. I want to know," I plead.

He looks surprised, he continues for me.

He breathes in a shaky breath.

"You... started crying. You thought you'd be alone forever and nothing I said was helping," he shares slowly.

I stay silent, I didn't remember I cried.

"And then you kissed me," he reveals more.

He stops. I think he assumes I know the rest.

As much as I would like him to explain the rest in painstaking detail, this was enough. But now that we acknowledged it happened, I need to know how he feels. I need closure. Could it ever happen again?

"And did you... like it?" I get out.

He swallows.

"I mean more happened... didn't it?"

Did he just admit he liked it?

"It's hard not to think about it," I confess to him.

He looks at me and nods.

"Why do you think I was with Mia," he divulges.

My eyes widen.

"What?"

He swallows nervously again.

"I needed... a distraction," he tells me.

I can't believe this. This whole time, he was in the same state as me? Thinking about it constantly? Getting a girlfriend to find any outlet to get away from the incessant flashbacks.

I shake my head, I want to cry from happiness that I'm not crazy, I'm not insane... I wasn't alone.

I don't want to talk anymore, now I only want to do one thing and that's kiss him. But I can't do that, can I?

Could I really just take what I want? I guess, what do I have to lose?

I step closer to him and he doesn't move.

He's watching me and I'm trying to lean in, but I'm so scared. I'm so close, I'm a few inches away from his lips. I can just lean in and taste them again, but my body won't move anymore. And we won't stop staring at each other. I can't do it... I can't.

Instead, _he_ leans in. Shock takes over, his lips are on mine. How did this happen - _oh my god_. His lips, I haven't felt them in five months and I've never wanted something so bad. After a few seconds, I get over the shock and get greedy. I grab his neck and kiss him back, hard. He grabs me too and we're savagely making out. It's not enough. I've never moved so fast, so desperately in my life. The fire is back, it feels like it's burning holes in my clothes. I need them off, I need him now.

But he pulls back and the fire burns out, leaving me cold.

"What about Janice?" he breathes.

I would dump Janice in a heartbeat, but he's right this is technically cheating.

So we stop.

We stand in silence.

I still want him and I really can't have him and it's my stupid fault.


	5. Chapter 5

All I have to do is break up with Janice and kick her out. I make it sound easy, but this is literally my nightmare. Why did I let her move in?

Unfortunately, since she was at her sister's place last night, I won't see her until after work. More unfortunately, that means I have to see Joey at work for eight hours straight.

My boss calls to go over a big sales pitch we are preparing for. Any assistant would join in on a call like this to take notes. So, I have Joey sit in my office to take notes during the call. The problem is, he's not writing anything down and I'm not listening. I'm only staring at him and he's staring at me. I want him, I want him to throw me on my desk and do whatever he wants to me. If only I could run home and break up with Janice so we could be allowed to do that. Maybe I could... at lunch. No, that's too mean.

"Got that? Chandler? Hello, you there?" my boss booms from the speaker phone.

"Uhh, uh sorry boss you were breaking up a bit there," I lie.

"Oh, really? You sound fine to me," my boss notes.

"I don't know what's going on, sir. It's not clear at all - maybe you could call back later?" I suggest.

"Okay fine, how's four o'clock?"

"Sounds great, talk to you then!" I express and hang up the phone.

I look back at Joey, he's still burning holes in me with his eyes.

"So, you're supposed to be writing the notes down," I remind him gently.

He looks down at the blank notebook in his lap.

"Oh... right... sorry," he says softly.

I nod.

"Well, uh... I should really get back to work," I tell him.

He nods and stands.

He walks to the door, but then stops. I wait, already feeling my heart race.

He turns back to me.

"Are you... breaking up with Janice?" he asks.

I swallow a large lump down.

"Do you want me to?"

I'm not used to us actually discussing things.

"You know how I feel about her," he remarks.

A perfect way out.

"Right," I sigh.

He doesn't say anymore, he opens the door and walks back to his desk.

* * *

Joey and I share a cab home, as we do every night.

We're silent. I look over at him, thinking about how it felt to kiss him again. He turns and meets my eyes. The cab stops.

"Here we are," the cab driver states.

I'm still lost in his eyes. I can't believe I can't just kiss him, he's right here. He's right next to me and I should be allowed.

"Hello?" the cab driver emphasizes.

"Sorry," I note and grab my wallet to hand him money.

We get out of the cab and walk upstairs.

In the hallway, Monica pokes her head out.

"Hey, you boys interested in lasagna?" she offers.

"Yes!" Joey celebrates and rushes into her apartment.

"Chandler?" she directs to me.

"Actually, I should go see Janice," I reply.

"Well, I'm sure they'll be leftovers if you change your mind," she tells me.

"You sure?" I smirk.

"You're right, I'll have to see how hungry Joey is," she laughs.

I smile too big as she closes the door again to join the others.

I walk into my apartment.

Janice is in the living room sitting on the couch.

"Hey," I say shakily.

She looks up at me and smiles.

"There's my Bing A Ling," she speaks much too plainly.

I look at her funny.

"Hey you okay?" I question her simple tone.

"Yeah, my sister just got dumped," she reveals and my eyes go wide.

"Wh-what?"

I sit down next to her on the couch.

"Her stupid boyfriend was cheating on her! Can you believe it?"

I shake my head. Oh god, no this is the worst timing of all time.

"I really can't."

"And they were _living together._ I cannot believe men can be so heartless!" she goes on.

"Uh huh."

I feel numb.

"It makes me so happy I have my Bing A Ling, who's so amazing and perfect," she croons, grabbing my arm and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Uh huh," is all I can manage again.

She kisses my cheek lovingly and runs her hand over my chest.

"Chandler, you okay? Your heart is beating so fast again," she points out.

"Uh huh."

* * *

I couldn't break up with Janice, this is the worst - the absolute worst.

Janice and I are cuddling in one of the lounge chairs, watching a movie together, when Joey returns from across the hall.

"Hey _Joey_ ," Janice expresses merrily when he steps in our view.

"Hey," he states, staring at us.

I want to die, _I want to die._

"Wanna join us?" Janice invites him and motions to the other lounge chair.

He looks over at the chair and then back at me. I feel like I'm stabbing him in the heart, sitting with Janice in my arms. I want to scream that I don't want this, I don't want her, I want him!

But I stay deadly quiet.

He shakes his head.

"No thanks, goodnight," he replies and walks into his room, closing the door behind him.

"His loss right?" Janice giggles in my ear.

I sit, drowning in misery for the rest of the night.

* * *

The next day, I'm back at the office with Joey. I honestly don't think there could be anything worse punishment than this.

We barely speak most of the day until around lunch time. I hear a knock on my door and it's Joey.

"Hey, what's up?" I speak calmly, but I'm spiraling internally.

"I was gonna grab lunch, but I..." he starts.

I stand up from my chair.

"I wanted to say, I'm sorry I keep bugging you about Janice," he continues.

"Uh - what?" I shake my head, lost.

"I shouldn't keep making jokes," he says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Jokes?" I barely get out.

I was wrong? I thought all I had to do was break up with Janice and he could mine. Oh god, I feel like the biggest idiot. What was I thinking? God, I hate myself.

"I'm trying to say, I don't want you breaking up with her cause of me. I'm sure I can learn to like her," he clarifies.

I swallow down my embarrassment and try to respond normally.

"No, yeah... I wasn't breaking up with her," I declare.

"Oh... okay, good," he nods.

"It is good," I affirm.

"Right... uh you want anything from the sub shop?" he offers.

"No, I'm good - thanks."

He nods and then walks out.

I drop into my chair and bury my face in arms.


	6. Chapter 6

It's the end of the week and I'm still with Janice. Why am I still with Janice? Oh, that's right because I'm idiot who thought that Joey could actually want me.

I'm sitting in my office one day when Joey walks in at the end of the day. I assume he's here to wait for me to pack up my things so we can leave.

"Just logging off," I comment to him as I'm shutting my computer down.

"Okay, I think I should quit," he blurts out and I freeze.

I look up at him.

"Oh? Why?"

"I mean this was supposed to be temporary and I think I've made enough to hold me over for a bit," he shrugs.

"Do you have any auditions lined up?" I question him.

"No."

"It's fine if you stay - you'll still need the money," I point out.

He shakes his head.

"Right, but I don't want to be in your way. You should hire a real assistant," he insists.

"I don't mind, you've gotten better with transferring my calls."

I have no idea why I'm arguing with him. My life would be so much easier if he did quit.

"No, I think it's time I leave," he refutes.

"But Joe, it's easy money - you don't need to rush out."

"No, I want to leave," he raises his voice.

"Is it me?" I ask, startled by his volume.

"No - of course not," he states.

I shake my head.

"I just don't get why you won't stay for the money. I know you need it. I mean, I'm fine lending you money, but -" I begin, but he cuts me off.

"I don't want your money," he refuses and it flashes me back to when he asked Ross for money. I start to get worried, what's going on?

"Then, why don't you stay until your next audition," I try to reason with him.

"No - I can't," he battles.

"Why not?" I state more frustrated now.

"Cause I can't work like this."

"Like what?"

"With you!" he exclaims and I freeze again.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing - I just don't want to be around you this much," he says.

"But... we live together..."

_Am I losing him - is he thinking of moving out - does he hate me?_

"I know, but it's worse here," he claims.

"What - why? What am I doing?"

"Nothing!" he argues louder again.

"Then, what is the issue!" I shout at him.

"I don't know what to do - I just want to kiss you!"

I can't move.

"Then... kiss me," I hear myself say.

He stares at me motionless.

"You're with Janice," he eventually objects.

I sigh shakily.

"She's just my distraction," I admit to him.

"You didn't break up with her," he counters.

"You told me not to," I argue.

"I thought you liked her."

I shake my head again.

"I like you," I confess.

We stand in silence.

He's not moving, he's not answering.

Oh god, he doesn't like me back? How can I be wrong again?

I watch as he finally begins to walk towards me, he rounds my desk and stops in front of me. My chest feels like it's going to explode.

We stand, staring at each other.

"You're breaking up with Janice?" he confirms.

"Yes," I state firmly.

He looks at my lips and takes another step closer. I step closer, our lips are nearly touching. I can't breathe, anticipating his mouth on mine.

He kisses me.

I melt into him, my hand grabs his shirt while his hand finds my neck. His lips are glorious, I keep kissing him. I run my hands through his hair. His hands grab my waist and pull me closer and the fire is burning through me again. I'm dying from the heat.

We break for a moment to breathe.

"I should get home... and break up with Janice," I breathe against his lips.

He takes a moment and stays close to me before stepping back to create some space.

I grab my things from my desk and we walk out.

We sit in the backseat of a cab and this is the most restraint I've ever had to practice. I know we already kissed and part of me is thinking I could fling myself at him and he'd probably make out with me. That's all I want, but I sit controlled next to him waiting until we get home.

We get to our building and walk up the stairs.

"Janice?" I call as we enter the apartment.

There's no answer.

I look at Joey.

"She must still be at work," I comment.

We stand awkwardly.

"I guess... we wait?" I question aloud hoping he'll have a better idea - some idea that means I get to have him right now.

He leans against the island.

"I guess," he complies.

I nod, not sure what to do with myself.

I step closer to him, figuring I might as well use this time wisely.

"So... after I break it off with her, um... what does that mean?" I ask.

"Well, I was hoping we'd pick up where we left off," he grins slightly.

I grin back.

"Right, but uh... well, what does... what would _we_ be?" I finally get out.

He nods nervously, he doesn't look sure. He sighs.

"Are we crazy?" he suddenly asks.

"What? No, I don't think so," I deny quickly.

"I mean, you're my best friend. What are we doing?" he breaks.

I shake my head.

"Yeah, but... it feels really nice," I lamely defend.

He breaks into a gorgeous smile.

"Yeah - it does," he whispers in agreement.

I smile wider.

"I think we have to try, otherwise it wouldn't feel like... _this_ ," I breathe and step even closer to him.

I let my hands fall down his shirt. He watches me and inhales deeply.

We hear the door behind us and break apart. It's Janice.


	7. Chapter 7

My conversation with Janice is a lot like Joey's conversation with Mia. A lot of yelling and apologizing and me throwing out stupid, made up reasons.

I let her yell and get upset. I feel bad, I do. I strung her along for so long, I let her move in. I feel awful, I wasted her time and I wasted my own time. If only Joey and I talked about everything five months ago.

I apologize more.

* * *

Janice eventually leaves to stay at her sister's place again. I did it, it's done... I'm free.

I walk to Joey's room and knock on the door. It's slightly ajar so it pushes open with my knock.

He's lounging on his bed, he sits up.

"Hey," I state.

He gets up and walks over to me.

"Hey."

"I broke up with her," I breathe, leaning into him.

He smiles, catching me with his arms.

He leans in and tastes my lips again. He kisses each lip carefully, carefully.

This is really happening, nerves begin to wash over me. I don't have any liquid courage from alcohol or the buffer of Janice. I only have him. I'm in his room and this can really happen.

"Are you nervous?" I ask.

"No," he responds simply.

I envy his confidence.

He kisses me again, running his hands down my arms, rubbing them affectionately.

He takes a step back, moving towards his bed, and pulls me with him.

"So... should we maybe talk this over?" I suggest, feeling more and more anxious.

"Talk what over?" he asks, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"Like our plan of attack," I motion with my hands a very lame karate move.

He snickers at me.

"Uh, okay what's your plan?" he tests.

"Me? Oh, I was hoping you'd go first," I fret.

"You do this with everyone?"

I frown.

"No, I'm just nervous."

"Why are you nervous?" he questions, taking my hand in his and pulling it gently towards him.

"I know you're confident... but I can't be so sure that _I'm_ going to... preform as well as last time," I blush.

He smiles calmly at me.

"Mhm, you bring up a good point," he notes.

"I do?"

" _No_ ," he opposes quickly and then grabs me by my shirt so I fall onto his lap.

I can't help, but laugh a little as I settle on top of him.

"Really - what if it's not like last time?" I get serious again.

"I had a lot of time to think, while you and Janice were yelling..." he begins.

"Uh huh," I smirk.

"This time is going to be better."

I smile too wide.

"You think?"

"I know, otherwise it wouldn't feel like this," he breathes and then kisses me again.

I kiss him back, running my hands through his hair.

"Please tell me you still want to do this," he breathes against my mouth.

It turns me on way too much and I leave a long kiss on his lips.

"I really want to," I assure him.

"Then, stop worrying," he whispers and presses his lips back to mine until I finally start to relax.

He spins me around so my back falls onto the bed and he settles over me.

This is what I've been replaying in my head and fantasizing about for months and now it's real.

_Enjoy it, you idiot._

* * *

I really worry for nothing. Joey and I had sex for the second time and you know what, I can confidently say it was amazing. And the third time was just as great and the fourth time... you get it. God, I can't believe I wasted five months. Now, I spend all my time kissing him, tasting him and undressing him any time I want. Of course, it's only been two days, but it's been the most incredible two days ever.

We're in my office making out. I should be more concerned about how little work I've gotten done these past two days, I literally haven't answered a single call in over an hour today. Neither has Joey, being that I'm a little busy using his lips for myself.

Joey moves his mouth to my neck. I feel his hands fiddle with my belt.

"Hey, not here," I whisper, grabbing his hands.

"Why?"

"At the office? That feels wrong," I argue.

"That's what makes it hot," he debates.

I shake my head at him.

"Fine, should I go back to answering calls?" he sighs.

"No way," I protest and pull him back to my lips. I feel him smile against my mouth.

"Come on, I can make you feel real good," he hums.

"I know you can... so can I."

He pulls back to raise his eyebrows and smile at my comment.

"But not here," I warn.

"Alright, you free for lunch?"

"Yeah," I smirk, knowing where he's going with this.

"Our place, twelve?" he suggests.

"Mhm, actually I could eat now," I decide, realizing I really have no self control left with how long we've been making out.

"But its... only ten," he comments, looking at the clock.

"And you're not hungry?" I challenge.

"Always hungry," he corrects and quickly follows me out to catch a cab.

* * *

When we get back to the apartment, we run into Monica in the hallway whose throwing away trash. I forgot she's still unemployed since she got fired from her job a month ago and didn't even consider we might run into her. We both freeze as she spots us surprised.

"Hey what are you guys doing home? Everyone okay?" she inquires.

We both look at each other.

"Um, yes," I state.

"Yes," Joey copies.

"Why aren't you at the office, isn't it like ten?" she probes again.

We steal glances at each other again.

"Yes, it is only ten am," I confirm.

"And we're here because we forgot... stuff here," Joey miserably attempts a cover.

"What stuff?" Monica questions us suspiciously now.

"My briefcase!" I chortle.

"Right!" Joey nods.

"And you both had to come to get it?" Monica brings up a ridiculously good point and I'm panicking now.

"Well, uh... this is part of Joey's assistant duties," I make up.

Joey starts giggling over the word duties and I swiftly elbow him.

"What are you two hiding?" she accuses.

"Nothing," I oppose.

"Come on, what's going on?" Monica presses.

"Okay, the truth is..." Joey begins and I'm too scared of what he's about to say.

"I broke up with Janice!" I spit out.

"Oh my god, Chandler, I'm sorry," Monica's expresses, her attitude completely changes.

She puts down the trash bag and moves to comfort me.

"Thanks," I accept softly.

"When did this happen?" she asks.

"A few days ago," I tell her.

"That's why we haven't heard her lately, why haven't you said anything?" Monica rubs my shoulder.

"Sorry, she took an extra day to move out and I don't know, I've been preoccupied at work," I tell her, trying not to smile at what I've really been doing at work.

"I'm sorry. Look if there's anything you need I'm here okay?" she offers kindly.

"Thanks Mon," I reply.

"I have to take this trash out, but do you want some ice cream? Want to watch a movie?" she offers.

"No, I just needed a little break, but we're going back to the office soon," I reason.

"Well come over tonight for dinner okay?" she offers.

"I will, thanks Mon," I agree.

She smiles and continues to the trash room.

Joey and I escape into our apartment.

"So, we're not gonna tell them?" Joey questions me immediately.

"No, we are... I just figured we should tell everyone at once, don't you think?"

Joey nods.

"That makes sense," he agrees.

I walk over and wrap my arms around him.

"Can we tell them soon?" he says before I can even kiss him.

"How about tonight?" I suggest.

"Okay, cool," he smiles happily.

"Cool," I confirm and then lean in to kiss him.

He breaks from my mouth and looks concerned for a moment.

"We still get a real lunch later right?"

I shake my head.

"Yes."

* * *

That night, everyone is at Monica's having dinner together.

"I'm sorry Chandler," everyone moans, when I tell everyone I broke up with Janice.

"Are you okay?" Ross asks me.

"Yeah," I reply.

"Man, you guys were so close. You moved in together this time," Phoebe remarks and Monica glares at her thinking it will be a sore subject for me.

"I know, it's really okay... um actually, I'm kind of seeing someone else," I admit.

Everyone stops and stares at me.

"What? Where did you find someone new?" Monica exclaims.

"Well... uh, I didn't have to look very far," I chuckle lightly, but no one except Joey gets the joke.

"When can we meet them?" Rachel asks.

"You... already have," I tell them and everyone looks lost.

They wait for me to explain.

"Remember when Janice was asking if any of us had... bumped uglies?" I continue.

"Yeah?" the group responds, confused.

"I kind of bumped uglies... with..." I tilt my head towards Joey.

Everyone stares in shock.

"What!" Rachel's tone changes to excited.

"Yeah," Joey confirms.

"Oh my god!" Phoebe exclaims.

"You guys cool with this?" Joey inquires from the gang.

Everyone exchanges looks for a moment and I almost fear I'm about to lose all my friends.

"Are you kidding? Of course, we're cool with our best friends getting together!" Monica laughs, rushing over to hug us.

Everyone joins in on a group hug and I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

"Can you believe our friends are so cool?" Joey directs at me with a giddy expression.

"Aw, we love you guys!" Rachel expresses, hugging us tighter.

I smile too wide. Everything finally feels right.

* * *

_The End._


End file.
